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Pirates is a total classic in the contemporary porn landscape—and is, naturally, based on Pirates of the Caribbean. It's campy, at times cringe-y, and knows exactly how ridiculous it is. Oh, and it also has special effects thanks to a budget of $1 million—making it the most expensive porn movie ever at the time it was released (2005). While the movie was picking up awards, actress Stormy Daniels (yes, that Stormy Daniels) told the New York Times that plot-less porn films were her pet peeve, saying: "There's nothing worse then when the pizza boy rings the doorbell, the girl says she doesn't have a tip, and then they get it on."


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No shade to good porn, but sometimes you just want a little something more, like a whole plotline and characters you actually care about beyond Wait, so did he actually come over just to deliver that pizza...? Luckily for everyone, sexy movies do exist. Like, loads of sexy movies. And Netflix is chock-full of sexy scenes that are way more realistic and better than porn...if you know where to look.

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Description I just got released from the D.O.C., so it's been a while since I had me a hot piece of pussy. So my boys rounded up some cash and decided to show me a little homecoming shindig, including a night with one of my favorites porn stars, Sarah Vandella. I've prepared myself mentally for this so I don't cum too fast, since it's been a while; I'm gonna rock this hot blonde chick so hard and then blast out a facial like I never have. This is gonna be the celebration of a lifetime, and my dick's gonna do most of the celebrating.

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